Star Wars & Me

If I had a relationship status with Star Wars, it would be "it's complicated."

The first Star Wars movie I remember seeing is Return of the Jedi. My mom took me to see it in the theatre & I was hooked. I wanted to hang out with Ewoks & celebrate the downfall of the Empire. I saw the others later on cable & at the time really didn't appreciate Empire enough.

Fast forward to getting super excited for The Phantom Menace. They were going to start at the beginning! That (opening) Thursday, I accepted an invitation from a friend to hit up the midnight showing, long line & all - we had such a good time. But the movie... was lackluster. I felt the same way about the next two prequels. A little later, a friend pressed a copy of the novelization of Revenge of the Sith into my hands and said "read this." It was amazing. Why couldn't they have filmed THAT?! (Tor.com goes further.)

Me with purple lightsaber.

Basically, the prequels soured me on Star Wars. I liked the franchise, but wasn't what I considered a fan. When news broke that Disney had acquired Star Wars, Lucasfilm, the whole shebang, I got cautiously excited, especially when they started talking making more movies.

Flash forward to 2015. It was going to happen, Episode VII. Then, the teaser dropped.

"Chewy, we're home"

I cried. Lord help me, I cried at my desk where I really shouldn't have been watching but did anyway. Then when a friend came by, we watched it together on his phone. After talking animatedly about it, we moved our nerdfest to another friend's cube. Later that year, I helped transform our unit at work into a Star Wars-themed area and it was super fun, even if I'm still a little bitter we lost.

I still have a TIE fighter. And Han in carbonite all printed out.

There he was hanging on a wall,
now, he lives in our dining room.

They had me again at that teaser. Then when I watched the full trailer, tears streaming down my face, I whispered to the universe "please don't suck." And it didn't. Ok, that one part was heartbreaking, but the movie didn't suck. Then came Rogue One. Which also didn't suck. In fact, it was fucking amazing. My faith has been restored.

I've dived deep into the Wookieepedia on the history of the Jedi/Sith conflict. Discussed theories with friends, angrily dissected why someone would favor the Empire/First Order over the Rebellion/Resistance. Basically, I'm just about all in.

And when Carrie Fisher passed away in December, I sobbed openly - again, at work - because there was no other reaction I could possibly have. When I got home, I cried some more while reading tributes, talking with friends, and talking with my husband. She played my first real hero in a movie and when I learned more about her later as person, that status applied to her as well. I have been pondering a piece about her, but now, even 4 months later, it feels almost too raw to write.

Today, the teaser trailer for The Last Jedi dropped. (Go watch it, I'll wait.) So many emotions were raised, along with SO MANY QUESTIONS!! I am incredibly excited for this new film and the next step in this ever-evolving saga. It was also announced today that Captain Phasma is getting a full length novel written about her, by wonderful wordsmith, Delilah S. Dawson. I'm a Rebel to the core, but man, I need to know about Phasma! (I will note that this attachment largely stems to my love of the woman in the suit - Gwendoline Christie. AKA, Brienne of Tarth.) I've never purchased a Star Wars book before, but man, this sucker is getting pre-ordered.

So to round out, I feel a bit like I've come full circle with Star Wars. I'm a fan again, wholeheartedly, and I couldn't be happier about it. (Though the day I got an Ewok hooded scarf comes pretty damn close to the overall feeling.)

May the Force be with you.

Why yes, I *did* wear this to see TFA!