The patient is naked from the waist up and, see those rectangular holes? That's where the breasts go. And then something was moved inwards to rest right next to them - unsure if it was to help with placement or to help direct the 'waves,' but it was fucking weird. I walked into the room in my gown & scrub pants and started giggling. Pretty sure the technicians thought I was crazy, but they ended up agreeing that yeah it is "unusual" looking. The people at Valley Radiology's breast center did their best to make it, um, comfortable, but my hands were going pins & needles by the end. (It was roughly 25 minutes long.) This procedure sucked ass. But, it did conclusively show that there was only cancer in my left breast. Side note: had I opted for a lumpectomy, because of my genetic mutation, I would have had to do this as well as the diagnostic mammogram & ultrasound every 6 months.
Now, on to the discussion of nipples. Namely, mine. During the to keep or not to keep my breasts, I brought up the possibility of keeping some of the outer parts. Keep in mind, Jason & I had found out the evening before and had spent a little time researching how this works. Dr. O'Neill (my surgeon) said there were different types of mastectomies - including skin sparing and nipple sparing. She thought I should speak to a plastic surgeon, so I went. You see, and this may be TMI for some people, I wanted to keep as much of the original me as possible. Particularly my nipples, for reasons of sexy times. Mentioning this to one of my good friends, Amarise, resulted in this exchange:
Amarise: "Nipple conservation sounds like something people would pass out pamphlets about."
Me: "YES! HAHA! 'Save the nipples!
Amarise: “Every year more and more nipples are disappearing. How will you stop it?”
Me: "Won't you please help?"
sad music in the background
Amarise: Cue Sara McLaughlin
So you can see I tried to keep a sense of humor about all this. The plastic surgeon advised that due to the size & shape of my breasts, nipple sparing surgery would not be a good plan. When rebuilt, my nipples would end up pointing down, which...ew. I did not want that. I later found online something about procedure called free nipple grafting. Where, during the mastectomy surgery, the nipple and part of the areola are removed & grafted to another part of the body. I was excited about this option and my plastic surgeon was game to try it, so that's what we did during the mastectomy.
Getting the surgery scheduled was a pain in the ass. Two surgeons were involved which meant getting both schedules to align. And it would have been easier if the plastic surgeon's assistant hadn't sat on a VM I left for an entire week. There was a lot of back & forth prior to this, but then yeah. She sat on it for a week, then informed me my surgery was on 5/15 and I said "no," asking for it to be rescheduled because Phoenix Comic Fest (or whatever they call themselves currently) was the following week.
Now look, I know many of you reading probably think I'm crazy. That's fine. But the fact is, it was a small tumor, caught very early, I was expected at con as a panelist, and dammit, I was going to have some fun before this all got super serious. After a little more back & forth, they were able to acquiesce to my request and scheduled me for surgery on 5/30. Everything leading up to a surgery date felt like a runaway train, despite medical professionals saying things like "you're in control" and "whatever you want." I saw making them schedule when I wanted as a way to take back control - besides, I hate it when doctors schedule appointments & then tell you when to show up instead of asking. So, I got to meet comic writers I love, be Black Widow, and Osgood.
 |
| Me with some Bombshell Batwoman cosplayers |
 |
| Comics writer James Tynion IV |
 |
| Marguerite Bennett, comics writer, cat lover, Hufflepuff |
No comments:
Post a Comment