Sunday, April 17, 2016

Living with Stuff

Last June, I injured my knee. Nothing fancy, just walking through Home Depot and twisted it. Ended up going to the doctor, getting a brace, that was that. The following week, I was in a car accident that fucked up my wrist and made me miss almost 3 months of work. I have been in pain from something almost every day since last June.

I'm tired of it.

I'm also tired of people who, when something else happens to me, say things like "can't catch a break," "it's just one thing after another," and my personal favorite, a variation on "you need to stop doing that." Because I have a choice in getting sick. Or having a current problem act up. There's also things like "I wish" or "Looks great" upon finding out I've spent a ton of time sitting around reading or watching shows...because that's all I feel capable of doing physically. It's nice to CHOOSE to do those things, it's not as great when that feels like ALL YOU CAN DO.

"But they're just trying to help" - whatever.

This is a frustrated rant because this coming week, I'll be calling the office of the doctor who did the cortisone shot and tried to eliminate the cyst in my knee because it's been over a week and I still have pain. But it's not in the same place as before, and it feels different. The knee doctor (a different one than the one who did the shot) doesn't want to do surgery because (mainly) I'm overweight. I've lost a couple pounds since the start of the year, but not enough for him to want to do something surgically. I understand. I also know surgery is traumatic to a body & don't particularly want to have to resort to it. On the other do I up my activity level if it hurts so much?

I have a good support system - J has been wonderful here at home. And friends who listen to me complain when I actually do.

Today, I just can't. With things. I know it'll be better later or tomorrow. This too shall pass & all that.


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